01.14.16 Friendship for Happiness

01.14.16   Friendship and Happiness

Time Together

Today my word for focused attention was friendship.  Today's coincidences were arriving at work to be greeted by my friend there with gifts of favorite hand-me-down outfits, and to have schedule changes synchronize perfectly allowing me to accompany my husband for his medical procedure.  Going to the doctor to maintain health with the goal of prevention provides a good reminder of the need for acting on the intention to stay strong, keep active, and enjoy life even more every year. Friendship helps.

My father was a man with many friends who lived to be 96 years old. I follow his good example of enjoying life while staying active and involved.  When he was asked in his nineties to what he gave credit for his long life, my dad would say simply that it was because of his daily structured routine. He said he believed he got to be his great age by going to bed, and getting up, at the same times each day. He thought is was important to always eat a good breakfast.  Routine is a good thing. But there has to be a reason to stay healthy.  It may have helped that he treated his many friends just like family.  

With a faith foundation of The Holy Bible as the first classroom reader text, my dad stayed involved all his life with the fellowship of his church. He loved pets, had a talking parrot, and walked the dog daily. Friendship with people and with animals made his life go round. He often met friends for coffee before going to the neighborhood beach to watch surfers playing on the ocean waves.  Henry regularly attended Charger football games, was a scorekeeper for his co-ed softball team, and never turned down a ride in a boat or a trip on an airplane. One time, he even tried riding in a hot air balloon. If riches were counted by fun and by friends, he would have been a very wealthy man.

Behavioral Sciences are starting to report the benefits of friendship for health and longevity. For example, the Harvard Director of the longest continuous study on human happiness (75 year study and still going) recently reported in 2015 that the single most important factor found in both longevity and life satisfaction is supportive relationships.  Relationships with friends, family, and community help improve health, reduce physical and emotional pain, and contribute to a longer, more satisfying life.

The Harvard human happiness study emphasizes the importance of being open to new relationships, making new friends, and becoming part of supportive communities. New friendships can be found or fostered in a community of faith, or by taking a class, or joining a club or a fitness group.   People will unfortunately leave us by dying or by moving away. At those times it's even more important to our health and happiness to be open to make new friends. It can be rewarding to reconnect with family members or childhood friends that we may have lost contact with.  ​

Loneliness, especially after a loss, has the opposite effect on health of good relationships. Because loneliness increases the discomfort of physical and emotional pain. Loneliness can become a habit or even a lifestyle. That is when loneliness interferes with good health, and presents risk of shorter life.

What a coincidence that people with friends who are happy tend to be happier people. Kind and loving interactions with others can strengthen our ability to grow emotionally and spiritually. Happiness is contagious. It can relieve pain, motivate, and inspire. Sharing happiness with a friend guarantees enjoying the day.  It makes sense that we can be healthier and have more fun around others we enjoy. We can even challenge each other to take care of our mental and physical health to stay strong and fit.  

In the circle of life, we are our connections.